Vanessa and Joshua

“No matter how many times you have been separated, it never gets easier, you just get used to it,” Vanessa said in an email interview. “I personally hate the separation, but when you are reunited it is the best feeling ever. Nothing is better than that first kiss or being able to hold your significant other again.”

Photo by Vanessa Knowlton-Estes

Vanessa, 20, and Joshua, 21, met while attending Ernest Righetti High School in Santa Maria, Calif., when Vanessa was 16-years-old and Joshua was 17-years-old.

After a year and 10 months of dating, Vanessa and Joshua got married through the court on May 30, 2009.

“He proposed to me when I was 17 and he was 18 so I knew we were always going to get married, but when he joined, we had to get married sooner,” Vanessa said.

Joshua joined the United States Army when he was 18-years-old. Eight days after the couple got married, Joshua left for basic training in South Carolina.

Before beginning their long-distance relationship, Vanessa and Joshua spent every day together. The couple spent 18 months in a long-distance relationship while Joshua went through basic training, advanced individual training and then was deployed to Korea.

Photo by Vanessa Knowlton-Estes

Vanessa and Joshua were able to visit each other every three to six months for four to 14 days at a time.

“It just made both of us feel lonely and sometimes got the best of us and we would end up arguing over the smallest things just because we were so upset about not being able to be with each other,” Vanessa said.

During their long-distance relationship, Vanessa and Joshua communicated through phone calls, Skype, ooVoo, Facebook, emails and letters.

Vanessa received two to three letters a week from Joshua during his basic training. Letters were the couple’s only way of communicating since using phones while in basic training is not allowed.

Joshua also sent Vanessa flowers while he was away. Vanessa’s care packages to Joshua were filled with items that would remind him of home and of them as a couple.

When Joshua went through advanced individual training in Georgia, he and Vanessa were able to talk on the phone every day, sometimes using Skype.

Being in a long-distance relationship “did make things a lot harder emotionally because he wasn’t there physically to be with me and I wasn’t able to go to him at the end of the day and hug or kiss my husband,” Vanessa said.

It was pretty much like being in a relationship with my cell phone and computer because that was the way we communicated. Communication was the biggest and only thing besides love that kept us together.

In May 2010, Joshua returned home from his advanced individual training to be with Vanessa for two weeks before he deployed to Korea.

Vanessa and Joshua planned on Vanessa moving to Korea under command sponsorship to be with Joshua during his 12-month deployment.

Under command sponsorship, the Army would pay for Vanessa’s things to be shipped to Korea and for her flight ticket. “But too many people were applying to go live with their husbands that the Army got to pick and choose who got to go; I wasn’t one of them,” Vanessa said.

Photo by Vanessa Kowlton-Estes

In December 2010, seven months after Joshua deployed to Korea, the couple decided to pay for Vanessa’s flight ticket to Korea so that they could close the distance between them and live together for the remaining five months of Joshua’s active duty.

Vanessa and Joshua are currently living in an apartment together at their second duty station in Fort Bliss, Texas.

Photo by Vanessa Knowlton-Estes

Joshua will be deployed at the end of 2012 for nine to 12 months, which will force their marriage to be long-distance once again.

When Vanessa and Joshua’s long-distance relationship began, Vanessa found the distance between her and her husband to be difficult to adjust to.

“It was really hard at first, but I found myself getting into a routine,” Vanessa said. “I had to adjust to being alone and doing things on my own and appreciating the phone calls and letters.”

Being in a long-distance relationship made Vanessa appreciate Joshua more and realize how much she really loved him.

Vanessa believes that commitment can keep every long-distance relationship going strong, regardless of how young the couple is.

I think that a lot of young people who are in long-distance relationships won’t last because they aren’t committed,” Vanessa said. “I was and am very committed to my husband and I think that is what changed the dynamics of it.

During their long-distance relationship, Vanessa found that not being able to be with Joshua physically was the most difficult for her.

Being able to communicate with Joshua through Skype helped Vanessa and Joshua continue to have a strong relationship, regardless of the distance.

Vanessa believes that communication is the key to couples having strong long-distance relationships.

Keep communication open, always be truthful and don’t let the little things stress you out,” Vanessa said. “Call as much as you can and use technology to your advantage.

Being in a long-distance relationship made Vanessa and Joshua’s relationship stronger because they understood how difficult it was to be away from each other for so long, making them appreciate each other a lot more.

“The whole reason he joined was to support us as a family and the separation was worth it all in the end,” Vanessa said.

Vanessa and Joshua welcomed their beautiful baby girl, Aubrey, into the world on Sept. 4, 2011.