Erin and Austin

“Knowing how hard it is to go even a week apart makes me so certain that after these years [apart], I never want to leave his side,” Erin said in an email interview.

Erin, 18, and Austin, 20, have always known their romantic relationship to be long-distance.

Erin and Austin met at a youth group in Upland, Calif., during the summer before Erin’s sophomore year in high school and Austin’s senior year. By the end of Erin’s sophomore year, she and Austin had become close friends.

Erin and Austin spent every day together until Austin moved to Santa Barbara, Calif., to attend Westmont College as a freshman. Erin continued high school as a junior in Upland.

Their friendship blossomed into a romantic relationship four months into their long-distance friendship as they realized their attraction to each other.

Before Austin moved to Santa Barbara to attend college, he and Erin spent more than 40 hours per week together. At the time, Erin lived in Upland and Austin lived in Claremont, Calif., a town about six miles from Upland.

Photo by Erin Jones

During Austin’s freshman and sophomore years of college, the couple was able to see each other once or twice a month when one of them drove the 130-mile distance to see the other.

“Going from summers when we saw each other all day, every day, to not seeing each other for weeks or months at a time was hard,” Erin said. “Disagreements don’t get resolved as quickly, causing them to often evolve.

At the start of each semester, communication was less constant, but after settling into our schedules, daily communication was pretty typical.

The couple’s long-distance relationship has added an extra 4,000 miles because Austin is spending a travel semester studying abroad in Europe. Erin is attending Pacific University in Oregon as a freshman.

Erin and Austin will be able to see each other about every four months now that they are in different countries.

“Jealousy is much more common, whether it’s based on romantic threats of other people or time management priorities,” Erin said.

Erin and Austin are also struggling with the lack of physical togetherness. “Hugs and kisses are important and it is difficult going without them,” Erin said.

Communicating with Austin via Skype has been a ‘long-distance lifesaver.’

“Before, we Skyped daily for at least an hour, talked every night as I fell asleep and had constant text conversations,” Erin said.

Photo by Erin Jones

“Skype dates have made me so much more attracted to him since I’ve spent hours just staring at him through the screen,” Erin said.

The emotional support Erin has gotten from Austin has made up for the lack of physical togetherness, she said.

Because international communication is much more difficult due to Austin’s travel schedule and the 8-hour to 9-hour time difference, Erin and Austin have had a hard time finding time to talk.

“Occasional (about once or twice a week), long Facebook updates about our days have become our main source of communication,” Erin said. The couple also uses Google Voice to communicate.

Before Austin traveled to Europe for the semester, Erin loved sending him monthly care packages.

Virtual candy doesn’t satisfy a sweet tooth,” Erin said. “And for a sweet-crazy college boy, nothing beats a big bag of Rolo’s.

Erin also liked to hand-make Austin things that he can put up on his walls or carry in his wallet, she said.

“I made us matching shirts once,” Erin said. “They had some of our inside jokes painted” on them. “Hand-made is always better, even if you have no artistic talent or have awful handwriting.”

Because Austin travels to different parts of Europe every four days, Erin can no longer send him care packages.

Photo by Erin Jones

Erin and Austin have been in a long-distance relationship for a year and eight months. Being in a long-distance relationship has made Erin appreciate the times when she and Austin are together much more.

Adjusting to being in a long-distance relationship is something Erin continues to perfect. Erin admits that she needs constant communication and that being separated from Austin over land and sea has made it very difficult for her to accept the little amount of communication that she and Austin have.

“I’ve had to tone down my jealousy as far as time management goes and understand that I shouldn’t take it personally when he chooses a pub with friends over a Skype date,” Erin said.

Erin believes that adjusting to a long-distance relationship requires the willingness to compromise and be more understanding of your partner and his or her situation.

Counting down the days when she and Austin will see each other again has made being in a long-distance relationship easier for Erin.

The secrets to keeping Erin and Austin’s long-distance relationship going strong are trust, understanding, patience “and most importantly, lots of love,” Erin said.

Erin believes that couples in long-distance relationships need to learn to be happy apart in order to survive the distance.

“Try not to get too attached to the idea of Skyping for five hours every day,” Erin said.

Text as often as you can about silly stuff. Make each other laugh. Tell each other secrets. If you think they look beautiful in their pj’s, say it. If you are too busy to talk, say you wish you could. And most importantly, say you love each other a million times a day.

Long-distance relationships are incredibly hard and aren’t for everyone, Erin said. “If you are able to grow independently and stay in love; awesome,” Erin said. “If you aren’t, it’s not like you’ve failed or anything. Different people want and can handle different things.”

“Don’t be afraid to change,” Erin said. “If that means you realize you’re not in the relationship you wanted or needed, that’s part of growing up. Don’t make rash decisions when it comes to that, but don’t be afraid to talk things out.”

Erin believes that the only way to have a strong long-distance relationship is to be completely honest with your partner.

Couples must stay strong, faithful, honest and happy and also never be afraid because “it’ll all work out how it’s meant to,” Erin said.

Though Erin has found it difficult to cope with thousands of miles between her and Austin, she believes the smiles are far worth the tears.

I am so very in love with him. I’ll never regret this time, even if right now feels like the saddest night of my life, it’ll all be worth it when I get to hold his hand again.