Marc and Martín

“I often got more anxious and nervous about things or worried more because I was unable to see his reaction to comments, events and conversations often leaving me to worry more than needed. This worry provided regular strain since it built up every so often,” Marc said in an email interview.

Photo by Marc Rubio (right)

Marc, 21, and Martín, 21, met through an online dating website. Marc and Martín dated for a month before they decided to enter into a relationship. However, with Marc living in Santa Maria, Calif., and Martín living in Santa Barbara, Calif., their relationship immediately began as a long-distance one in August 2010.

Since Marc and Martín met online during the summer, they were able to see each other twice a week. When their college semesters started, however, they saw each other once a week.

Martín took the Greyhound bus from Santa Barbara to Santa Maria to visit Marc every other weekend. Marc would then drive to see Martín on the remaining two weekends in the month.

To stay connected, Marc and Martín sent each other text messages, they talked on the phone and Skyped from time to time.

Photo by Marc Rubio (right)

Technology didn’t always make Marc and Martín’s relationship easier to manage. Periodic misunderstandings from text messages led to “petty squabbles,” Marc said.

Though the couple never sent each other letters or care packages, they had other romantic ways of showing each other that each one was thinking about the other.

We would often order things for each other and exchange them upon seeing each other.

After dating long-distance for 10 months, Marc moved to Santa Barbara to live with Martín, not wanting to be apart any longer.

Marc is currently a junior in college and Martín is a sophomore in college. They are both attending Santa Barbara City College.

During their long-distance relationship, Marc found that not being able go home to be comforted by Martín after a long day was the most difficult thing about being in a long-distance relationship.

Photo by Marc Rubio (left)

“Knowing that the only comfort they can provide is a phone call or a text in place of a warm embrace that one might expect or need” was extremely difficult, Marc said.

To fight back against their constant loneliness, Marc and Martín increased the number of phone calls they made to each other and Skyped more often.

During their long-distance relationship, Marc and Martín didn’t consider breaking up despite their share of hard times.

“We knew we had found something special in each other and decided to not let the distance be an obstacle to our chance at mutual happiness,” Marc said.

Talking through their problems and their willingness to overcome adversities, even those posed by each other helped Marc and Martín keep their relationship strong while they were apart.

“When things got heated, we would leave each other alone until we were clear-minded enough to talk it out rationally,” Marc said. “In short, we never had heated arguments.”

Marc recommends that long-distance couples evaluate their connection with each other to make sure it is one that is pure and deep.

“Make sure that the connection you two share is something real and not just a crush or you won’t be able to hold onto it,” Marc said.

Just know it’s not going to be easy and that on days that are hard, (your partner) won’t be able to give you a hug to make it better or a kiss goodnight, but if they make it clear that they wish they could and wanted to be there then you know you have found someone worth holding onto.

When Marc and Martín began living together, the freedom of being able to do whatever they wanted was replaced by increased respect for each other.

“The largest thing was getting used to being around each other’s personalities all the time, something that we weren’t used to,” Marc said.

Being in a long-distance relationship “showed me that he was willing to go through it all to keep what we had,” Marc said. “It gave me hope and admiration for him as well as showed me that he was serious about our relationship.”

Marc believes that long-distance relationships are doable but that they take mutual effort and desire to make them work. For Marc, long-distance relationships are worth the separation because it has lead to the best relationship he has ever had.

I very well may have found my partner for life.