Planning for your futures together

How to decide where you and your partner will call home

You and your partner are currently in a long-distance relationship and all you can focus on is when you will see him again. But have you discussed your futures together? Do you know where he wants to live and build his career?

You may assume that your partner wants to live where you want to, but that’s not always the case. What will you do if he wants to live in New York and you have dreamed of strolling down the rainy streets of Washington your whole life?

Having a conversation with your partner about his plans for the future will help you understand where he’s planning on taking his life and whether or not you’ll be along for the ride.

Be open to your partner’s thoughts and goals for where he hopes to call home. If he’s dreams don’t match yours, be patient and listen to what he has to say. After all, he’s probably never thought about having to strike a compromise when it comes to living in a city you two can agree upon, and you probably haven’t either.

After you and your partner have shared your desired futures, you must begin to talk about how both of those futures will mold into one that you both will be happy with.

He wants New York. You want Washington. How’s that going to work? Compromise.

You and your partner need to begin looking for your desired jobs in the cities the other wants to live in. This way you can open your eyes to the possibilities that wait in a state you perhaps never considered before.

Without compromise or an agreement on where you and your partner will live after you’ve survived your long-distance relationship, your paths may quickly separate. You and your partner must accept each other’s dreams as your own and come to an agreement that neither of you will resent.

If he wants to live in New York, but you’ve been offered an amazing job in Washington, you must quickly decide where you and your partner will plant your roots. Perhaps you can vacation to New York once a year or even buy a summer home there later in life. Can you retire there in 40 years instead?

Discussing with your partner where you and he will live is essential to ensuring that you well both continue to walk down the same path together after your long-distance relationship ends and your new lives together begins.

Remember to be open and willing to accept change. And don’t forget Forrest Gump’s famous catch phrase, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gunna get.”